I had the unpleasant experience yesterday of completely shutting down someone’s “web idea” that was not only original but also somewhat creative.
I did it because the presentation of the material and concept was terrible and completely incoherent from a product perspective. In other words, I smashed their “baby.”
Shame on me, seriously.
One of my jobs as a technologist is to translate oftentimes difficult concepts and products into viable and understandable solutions. Communication is the lifeblood of any project or product, and I failed to do so in wisdom and with grace.
I don’t think I’m alone in this temptation; I think many of us find ourselves as the “gurus” of our church and organization in terms of web and we can sometimes let that get to our head and let pride gain a foothold.
I have to constantly remind myself that ministry comes first, the technology solution is second.
Don’t smash someone’s baby just because you know better.
[Image from Dave]
David says
I almost did exactly the same thing this afternoon…but I caught myself at the last minute. I was not a fan of their "design" but it was their baby – they were passionate about it. I offered a questioning critique but they still held firm to their design. In the end I would have damaged our relationship if I had pushed any further. You have to choose relationship first.
Daniel_Berman says
Thanks for learning this, I have already had two people try to smash my "baby" and really it hasn't improved our relationship. In fact, its only increased my desire to see it come to fruition. There has to be another way….
bbrooke says
Been on both side of that type of a meeting several times. In my experience if we have a mutual respect I welcome the constructive criticism (and will offer it if I feel like I have that type of connection). A real friend won't just tickle someone's ears but help them focus there passion and inspiration.
human3rror says
Good point. This person… did not take it lightly. Doh!
Rodlie Ortiz says
If you're in a position of power this is very easy to do. Especially if you feel you know what the right thing is to do, and especially if you're under a time constraint. One thing that has helped me is to operate under a set of core values, based out of the vision of where we're going as a church. So if it doesn't fit into that, I try to explain that to them and let them down easy. But even in smaller things, yes, I've smashed people's ideas. Hopefully I've done it in graceful ways, but other times I know that it hasn't been that graceful and people have been hurt. So be careful when wielding the mace of power!
human3rror says
very true. i'm taking this to heart…!
Graham Brenna says
we do the same thing… see if it fits with the overall "BIG PICTURE" for our church… if not, let em down nice and easy. But sometimes the church doesn't let em down for fear of making them mad. Then we end up doing something that doesn't fit with the "BIG PICTURE". When will the church grow a pair?!
Aaron says
^
Guilty! :/
Graham Brenna says
A humbling reminder.
personality profile says
It all has to do with communication style. Dale Carnegie of “How to win friends and influence people” stresses the importance of not antagonizing your peers. However that doesn’t mean that everybody’s idea is a good one.