Ever since there were kids, there have been bullies. (Cain and Able, yo.) Yet, it seems like bullying and cyberbullying are on the rise (at least anecdotally).
I hate to see students bullied in real or digital life, but I’m a bit more realistic (cynical) than many of colleagues in the education industry. I don’t think that dealing with the bullies will help the situation. Much like America’s anti-terrorism policy, for every bully we “neutralize,” two or three more will emerge. The problem isn’t the bully; the problem is a world that creates people devoid of empathy and respect.
No, I don’t think I’d spend much time trying to de-jerkify bullies. I think I’d rather invest time in the bullied. Bullies come and go, and they seem to just keep coming. Maybe if we can save the victimized from becoming life-long victims we can end—or at least slow—the cycle.
Bully-Proof, Not Bubble-Wrapped
I’m not an expert in psychology, but I’ve been a middle-school teacher/youth minister/youth leader for quite some time. Not to mention the fact that I, too, experienced a fair amount (oxymoron) of bullying when I was in school.
To me, the way to help the victims of bullying is to empower them in such a way that they are “bully-resistant.” There’s no one who is “bully-proof,” no one who is beyond the reach of others. However, we can help people to recenter their spiritual identity so that they are not swayed by what others say to them. Knowing who you are in Christ, knowing and sensing His boundless, furious love for you as an individual can do wonders to protect you against the lies of the enemy, the taunts of bullies and trolls.
Some of my colleagues in education have this approach to bullying that seems just a little less extreme than if Chicken Little had a kid. When they start ranting and hand-wringing about big, bad bullies and tiny, little tender victims and how to solve this problem, I picture them trying to bubble wrap the world, rounding off all sharp corners, and banning Dum Dums for fear that someone might be made to feel inferior by the phrase, “You are what you eat.”
We cannot reshape the world to fit the needs of the weak and oppressed, not because it’s wrong or anything but because it’s just not going to work. The problem isn’t people: the problem is evil, and sadly, the majority of Earth’s population is evil. No amount of sensitivity training or counseling will fix it. Christ died to solve the problem of evil, and even He has said that He will have to come back a second time just to purge the world of all those who have refused His gift and clung to their evil.
We’re never going to fix the world. People are jerks online and off. Bullies and victimizers aren’t going away, so let’s help the bullied stop being victims. Let’s teach them, pray with them, and encourage them regularly to be established in Christ. These are not platitudes. We most build a community that reinforces the truth it’s only God who is allowed, who is worthy to set our value and to define our identity. In such an environment, a godly “circling of the wagons,” we can face the lies this world of bullies hurls our way and encourage each other to reject it in the light of the truth of the love of God for us.
Have you been bullied?
How much easier would it have been to cope if your identity had been firmly established in Christ, affirmed and guarded by a community of believers?
[…] wrote last week about Cyberbullying and how I felt that the best way to attack this issue was to help the bullied stop becoming […]