The image above is from a very funny and well known youth worker in California, Matt McGill. If you follow him on Twitter @mattmcgill, you know that first off, he has taken his youth group to summer camp. And secondly, they have lost their first big thing at camp, a GoPro HERO camera. If you have served in youth ministry for more than six months at any capacity, something has been lost, broken, or otherwise unusable. Many times it is from students, sometimes from volunteers or parents, and occassionally by our own stupidity.
So what is the take away for all of us from this blunder and how could we personally respond to something like this? Should we just keep all of the technology from them for fear of it getting broken? Should we not have any boundaries and give them access to everything? Here are a few ideas to help you shape your thoughts. (Please note that I do not know anything more about Matt’s situation than the above image. None of these points are about him or that specific situation.)
- Put The Shame Away You are not above screwing up and you would not want to be belittled, shamed, or yelled at. Find a loving way to talk to them, make sure you have the whole story (they may not have done it), and continue to love on them. Empathy allows for healing emotionally and even socially to begin. Shame promotes a hollowness of self and keeps them in that toxic moment of self-hate that can lead to terrible pain in the future. Love, love, love them.
- It Is Just Stuff Are you so tied to all of your possessions that you would take away all of the tech toys for fear of them being broken? It makes sense that you do not want them using your $1,200 camera, but what about the $300 GoPro? I have the motto of giving something with the internal expectation of not getting it back. If my church knew that I wouldn’t be given things, but it makes the situations afterwards more comfortable. Discipline actions should be given, but do not berate them. Show grace and forgiveness.
- Do Not Let One Instance Ruin Everything Do you not have grace for your teens that you are willing to forgive them, especially if it was truly an accident and not the result of horse play or a deliberate action? Not doubt boundaries and rules need to be in place to prevent the incident again, but know that you bought those things for ministry with the purpose of using them and obviously it was intended for teens to use in the first place.
How have you or would you like to react to this kind of a situation?
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