This is the sixth article in the series The Fight Against Porn series.
The conversation of pornography has been about why it is bad theologically, emotionally, socially, mentally, and physically as well as what software can be used to stop it. But what if software is not the most important aspect of avoiding pornography? We want to set the stage to which is more of a priority: software that prevents you from looking at pornography or relationships that are created to help support you in recovering.
Let’s be clear up front, this is not a discussion of one or the other. Software and relationships are not mutually exclusive, but our time is limited and if one process is more effective than another, then we need to put our time and energy into that more. Below is a list of pros and cons for software, but it also makes a case for and against relationships.
Case for Software and Relationships
Software is one of the biggest pushes towards digital pornography and a big tool for church technology ministries to help prevent people looking at pornography. Here are it’s upsides and downsides.
Pros for software, cons for relationships.
- Less Sinful Traps with Software If we are taking a preventative approach, habits may be more easily stopped before addictions ever happen. Wounds, guilt, and shame never need to arise because the sinful acts have not happened. Yes, we still need to work on the interior of the heart of lusting after women and men, but the consequences of looking at pornography have been circumvented.
- Widespread Impact With Software Unlike relationships that have people that do not show up to meetings, have their own struggles, can keep stuff from them, and many times judge us on our actions inappropriately and therefore lack support, software is a rational approach to pornography. You do not need to find people that will take up the post of being a mentor, instead everyone in the world can install it.
- Software Costs So Much Less We looked at the cost of our soul with sin, but there is financial benefits to software. Would you rather pay $10 for software or thousands for counseling, hundreds for coffee to meet with a mentor, and even the worry of divorce or other financial issues? Yeah, $10 sounds amazing!
Cons for software, pros for relationships
- Easy to Bypass Software It is so easy to bypass many software programs, especially for church techies. Improvements have been made, but if you do not set it up completely and have the accountability to go with it, software fails where relationships do not. An accountability person can see nonverbals and emotions that software simply misses.
- People Help With Struggles, Software Doesn’t When preventative measures fail, they cannot pick up pieces. Someone who you have developed a relationship is where you need to go to find help. They can pray with you, help with your marriage, and talk with you on next steps to repairing what was broken.
- Relationships Are Support, Software Are Rules Rules are not grace and so when we fall short, all the software can do is point out what you did wrong and give you links to finding help. A mentor in your life can offer you the confession environment that will help you. Their shouldering of your concerns and walking in the midst of your pain and discouragement can mean redemption and success in the future.
I have my own views on what I see as the top priority, but I want to hear from you. What is most important? Relationships or software first?
Michael Beil says
great thoughts Jeremy.