We have all been there. You’re browsing your social media, content with the world and with yourself, when your eye falls upon a post.
Yes, that post.
The one where someone slams you, your ministry, your organization, and maybe even your God.
Your blood is boiling, you clench your fists…and then what do you do?
Is there a Christian way to respond to social media rants? Should you even dignify it with a response? What’s the right social media rant response?
Step Away
The dumbest, most destructive thing you can do is respond from anger, especially when your temper is still burning hot. That means the first thing you need to do is step away and find a way to cool off. Go for a run, call a trusted friend to unload, beat up your boxing bag. Just step away until your anger simmers down.
I’m someone who processes through talking, so I usually unload on my husband with stuff like that. He’s ‘safe’ because he’s not active on social media, he often doesn’t know the people I work with, and he knows me inside out so my anger (or some crazy stuff I say in my anger) doesn’t change his opinion of me.
Pray
Now would be a good time to start praying. Don’t worry about your anger still shining through; God can take it. It’s okay to be raw and real with the Almighty. I mean, look at the Psalms, isn’t that what David was doing half the time?
One thing to pray for would be wisdom to handle this situation the right way, another would be forgiveness for whoever did this to you. Keep in mind that forgiveness is not a feeling, but a choice, so deciding to forgive is an important first step to actually experience forgiving someone who has hurt you.
To Respond or Not To Respond
This is the biggest dilemma: do you respond to that rant publicly, or not? The best course depends on many factors, but let’s state the bottom line here first: arguing with someone on social media never gets you anywhere. You do not win arguments, not even if you’ve been falsely accused, by going full defensive.
Recently, a relative of a teen in the ministry I volunteer with went all-out on Facebook. This rant contained some pretty nasty accusations, especially towards the youth pastor and his wife. All of them were wrong, as the teen had clearly distorted facts and events towards this relative. But do you think that pointing this out in a comment would have worked? Of course not. There’s no calming people down on social media.
Does that mean you completely ignore the rant, however? It depends. If the rant is mostly being ignored and doesn’t get a lot of response, I’d definitely let it go. But if people are starting to react to it—meaning it’s getting traction—it’s usually better to do something. As we’ve seen in some of the examples in our series on social media fails, ignoring is not the best strategy when something goes ‘viral’—even if it’s viral locally.
As I stated before, going on the defense doesn’t work, but a short and kind response just might. Think of something along these lines: “I’m sorry to see you’ve been misinformed about the situation. I’d be happy to call you and explain what happened.” And then you can either ask the person if this is okay and if so, to provide their number, or ask for the best time to reach him/her if you already have their number.
A response like that does three things:
- It defuses the situation by responding instead of letting rumors and speculations run wild
- It subtly states that there are lies being spread
- It puts the responsibility in the hands of the person doing the ranting.
The third aspect is especially effective, since it’s now it’s up to the ‘ranter’ to take the step towards reconciliation. If this person refuses and ignores your response, it becomes crystal clear what their real motives are.
You have to be willing to actually talk to them though, which accidentally is also the best way to solve conflicts anyways. And when you do, when that call takes place, you can calmly explain the truth. If they are open to hearing your version, this is also the moment to kindly request they remove the rant, or even post a rectification. Granted, the last is the ultimate result, but depending on how the conversation goes, you can at least try.
When things have settled down, including your own emotions, try to analyze the situation. What could you have done differently to prevent the rant in the first place? You are never responsible for other people being stupid and offensive but you try to learn from what triggered it.
In the case of the event with the teen I mentioned above, we could have communicated a decision we had made better. Had we done that, the teen would not have been so angry as to vent at home and distort facts to justify their anger.
Have you ever been the ‘target’ of a social media rant?
How did you handle it and did you respond publicly?
[Praying image via Connor Tarter via Compfight cc & yelling image via diegodiazphotography via Compfight cc]
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