Online relationships go back quite a long way. What was once something only imagined on cartoons like ‘The Jetsons’ is now a reality. They had their video phones. We now have Skype and Google+. Our digital smartphones are small computers, packing more power in something that weighs less than a pound than computers that filled entire rooms. Wifi and 3G/4G technology allows us to remain connected all of the time. It seems these days, the only way we go offline is if we take ourselves.
Are the only relationships we create good for us, or bad? Or is it something in between? And where has that technology taken us? Let’s look.
Bulletin Board Systems
Who is old enough to remember BBS’s?
I am raising my hand. When I had my cutting edge Commodore 64 with it’s 64K of memory, the 5lb 5 1/4″ floppy drive and a super fast 300 baud modem, there weren’t many places to get online except for a BBS. The BBS was the first of the online communities and while they lasted, they created a strong sense of community despite their meager text only beginnings.
What helped foster the community around a BBS is that most of it was local. Since one had to dial into a BBS with a phone line, you’d want to go local to avoid long distance fees (though there were ways around that). It allowed for people to actually get together and talk shop about a variety of different things. Real relationships were formed after initially being formed online.
As technology improved and modems kicked up to blazing speeds of 1200 bit/s modems, technologies such as Prodigy and CompuServe became the place to go online as these had a GUI and provided services such as news, weather, games, bulletin boards, stocks, columns, polls and more.
AOL took it a notch further with instant chatting, unmoderated bulletin boards and anonymous handles.
Finally, standard internet access, where the only thing needed was a phone line and a browser started to become the standard for how people got online.
The Loss Of Relationships
One of the downsides to anonymous access to the Internet was the loss somewhat, of relationships. Instead of connecting with people in the towns nearby, we were now connecting with people around the country and around the world. But the level of anonymity was rather deep.
Anonymity also made it easier to say things to each other we might not say if we knew each other in real life. It was simple to put somebody down from behind a keyboard. For the longest time, being social on the Internet amounted to sharing what songs we were downloading from Napster. Chat rooms and bulletin boards were sill the norm.
Social Media Makes A Comeback
To me (and you may disagree) it started with blogging. Blogging took off as a mainstream medium after the 9/11 attacks. It brought more people to the Internet as active participants in that people were publishing their own content instead of reading everybody else’s. Ridiculed early on by the traditional media, blogs caught fire and it wasn’t long before most mainstream news outlets had started their own blogs.
But, blogging for the most part was still impersonal in that it provided a platform for the writer, but didn’t encourage participation from readers. Sure, comments were allowed, but they were often a battlefield and not a community.
Then MySpace came along. Go ahead and laugh, but you probably had an account like millions of others.
MySpace was something new. It brought people out from behind their “internet mask” so-to-speak and let people open up. Granted, access to information was limited unless you requested access and were approved. What it did was provide a way for the average person to post photos, video, thoughts, their likes and dislikes and the best part was it didn’t require having to understand blogging software or having their own website.
In short, it was a way for Grandma to get online and see pictures of her grandkids.
MySpace was eventually replaced as the go to social media site with Facebook. Facebook was cleaner as it didn’t allow users to change the overall look saving viewers from having to look at a background page made up entirely of roaring flames.
But there was still a problem. Just about every friend you had on Facebook was somebody that you already knew. If you didn’t know them and just accepted whatever friend request was thrown your way, you most likely never interacted with that person anyway.
So what changed?
Strangely enough, it was a little web app that limited interaction between people to a mere 140 characters that became the catalyst for true social interaction on the Internet.
The Rise of Twitter
Twitter debuted 5-years ago in what must seem like an eternity, but its growth was very slow early on. Most people who signed on early (including me) thought, “What can I do with this?” Why would people want to know or care what I was doing at any point in my day? I joined in December of 2007, but abandoned the platform early on because of the reasons stated above.
Where it changed for me, was the 2008 presidential campaign. When I got back on Twitter, I noticed the change. Sure, people were still using it to show what they were eating and where (and people still do that today), but it had also become a place for sharing information. President Barack Obama, no matter what you think of him, embraced this technology and became the first Presidential candidate to really utilize the Internet as a means or promoting their campaign.
The chart below shows the incredible growth of Twitter, and if you look at the summer of 2008, it’s where a steady gradual rise started and then explosive growth that started in 2009.
Twitter Promotes Community
A quote I often hear about Facebook and Twitter goes something like this:
“Facebook is for for people I already know. Twitter is for people I want to meet.”
People have been able to use Twitter as a catalyst for promoting community and that is it’s best unwritten feature. Connecting with other people and building from that connection is exciting. I’ve personally met a number of people I first connected with on Twitter and have built some real friendships.
People have utilized Twitter to raise money, spread awareness, promote their business or brand, share their art., solicit opinions and so much more. I am still amazed at what people have been able to do with it and still see great things every day.
Is There A Downside?
As much as the online community allows people to connect with others they may not have met otherwise, there is an inherent concern about the depths of our online connections.
I’m an extrovert by nature. If I can meet somebody new, I am cool with that. There are still some people I converse with all the time who I have not met personally, but I will make the effort to do so.
But in the meantime, I know that I must make the effort to be a part of a local community. For those of us who are Christ followers, that often begins with being part of a local Church. That is a start. Just going to Church is not community. Therefore, the next step is being part of a small group. This allows a person to connect with 6-10 other people to build relationships that can last a lifetime.
My concern is some will rely exclusively on their online relationships for community. I’ve asked people to pray for me online, but it doesn’t compare to having somebody right beside you praying together. I have watch North Point’s Church services online a number of times, but there’s nothing like being with my Church family worshipping with them. I’ve given to charity online, but there’s nothing like going out and doing ministry with other people, together.
So let’s hear from this community, the ChurchMag community.
When did you join Twitter? There is a great website that will give you the exact day. I joined December 29, 2007.
Have you personally met anybody you’ve connected with on Twitter?
What was your earliest foray into social media?
Do you have the same concerns I do about people retreating within social media and not exploring real life relationships?
Marcus Williamson says
Killed it with the article 🙂 Solid
Joined Twitter: January 21st 2009
Met anyone on twitter: A few due to the echoconference / catalyst conference
Earliest foray: Didn’t really start til I was rock’n the twitter train
Concerns: Always man. But that’s the cool thing about tension ya know. It’s hard to balance on the fence, so I definitely sway one way or another countless times. Technology connects people but the real-life, face to face action, will always be no. 1.
Again, solid article
Jay Caruso says
Thanks Marcus!
Agree about face to face interaction.
Eric Dye says
Marcus is awesome.
April says
I didn’t join Twitter till October 12, 2010. I have several people I would love to meet that I met through Twitter and blogs. My earliest experience with social media was, unfortunately, MySpace. 🙁 Then Facebook.
I totally think some people tend to retreat into social media versus face to face interaction. I think that social media can be a great enhancement to general life because it allows us to meet new people, catch up with old friends or friends who live out of town/state, or catch up with people we have not been able to sit down with face to face due to schedules. I do not in any way think it should make up for face to face time though.
Jay Caruso says
No shame in the MySpace venture! Like I said, I am sure many people had an account there.
I agree about social media being an enhancement. Good observation.
Lou says
My opinion regarding social media has always been that it should (1) supplement existing relationships to allow people to share thoughts and ideas they want to share in-between face-to-face interactions and (2) foster relationships between people who cannot meet face-to-face. If we really consider the relational aspect of social media, it will ensure that we don’t use to replace real life relationships. Things like Facebook, Twitter and a blog leave us wanting more from the people we interact with, which can only be found is sitting down with someone and experiencing them.
Jay Caruso says
“Things like Facebook, Twitter and a blog leave us wanting more from the people we interact with, which can only be found is sitting down with someone and experiencing them.”
Love that.
Thanks for your thoughts!
Ben says
21 September 2009 Is the day It all began for me on Twitter. I can’t believe it’s been almost 2 years! I’ve built up a feeling of community and had opportunities to meet-up with some incredible people.
I don’t know if it’s just my personality or where I am at in life but I’m always looking for ways to build my relationships online to personal relationships. The only way I can see that happening is through face to face meet-ups. I’ve had the opportunity to grab a cup of coffee with several in my Twitter circle and I’m hoping for many more this fall when WordCamp comes to ATL (I hope).
Over half my business right now is coming from online relationships. Twitter has been crucial to the growth of my personal business but more importantly it has allowed me to develop many professional skills that would have never been possible. I mean, I would have had to go to school for a lot of what I’ve been able to learn.
Great article, I’m really interested to find out what the community has to say.
Jay Caruso says
Great thoughts Ben!
I am still amazed at how Twitter has been able to lead to real-life relationships.
Thanks!
Eric Dye says
Good stuff, Jay!
Jay Caruso says
Thanks bro!