You’re heard of Worship Eagles, but that’s so overdone now. The wave of the future is no longer in the hands (talons?) of the avian-obsessed. Even smoke and lighting have had their day.
No, it’s time for quadrupedal kingdom power.
That’s why I’m excited to announce….
Praise Lions!
Brought to you by JubileeYear Inc., Praise Lions are exactly what you think they are: lions trained to be a part of your worship and altar experiences. I know what you’re thinking, “Shut up and take my money,” but let’s first talk about the Praise Lions service a bit more.
Based upon the beautiful scenes of worship in the Book of Revelation, these powerful felines have been trained to pace back and forth at the front of your sanctuary, to stand at your pastor’s side during the altar call, and even to sniff out secret sinners who seem reluctant to come forward when called to repent.
For a kingdom-investment of $10,000 USD your church can experience the power and majesty of a powerfully majestic jungle cat. If that’s too much seed for you church to sow, you can partner with another church in your area for an early-late/AM-PM worship sharing experience in which the Praise Lion goes to one service for half and hour and then to another for half an hour.
JubileeYear’s corporate mission is to, “[B]ring the living symbol of Jesus’ power, beauty, and eminent judgement into the churches of North America.” Hallelujah! Let Praise Lions loose in your congregation this Sunday and watch the Spirit move your people to worship and praise!
April Fools! We’ve had fun doing goofy stuff like this in years past, you can learn about who we really are here.
[Lion image via Eric Kilby via Compfight cc]
Eric Dye says
This made me laugh so hard. 😛
Phil Schneider says
I’m glad, but I’m afraid that too many might see this and think it’s a good idea!