I was raised my entire life with the fact that God knew what was write for my life and I was suppose to follow that. When younger, my parents would discern what was correct and tell me. As a teenager, I fought a lot of what my parents said only to find out in college that they were actually geniuses. In college, I started to look to my future of what was going to happen: who will I marry, what will I do as a career, what is my purpose. One night my senior year, struggling with these decisions, I told God to break me and lead my path completely. I humbled myself to whatever He wanted from me, unsure of the unknown, and struggled with God to show me the way.
Jacob’s Struggle With God
Genesis 32:22-32 is the famous Biblical story of Jacob, son of Issac who was coming home after being away for twenty years. Genesis tells us that when Jacob had been left alone, “a man wrestled with him until the break of day.” Jacob, it is said, wrestled with God through the night, refusing to let go, even when he had been wounded, holding on until he had received a blessing. This seemed to go against everything I believed. Wrestling with God? Can we do that?
How bold! How dangerous! Jacob held on to God until he received God’s blessing, but he did not leave unscathed. For the rest of his life, that hip would be a reminder of who was in control of his life. Yet his blessing was transformational both in name (from Jacob to Israel) as well as in purpose (from second heir to his brother to God’s nation that will come from his family).
Struggle With God Yourself
I see Jacob wanting more to his life and know God could lead him, so he wrestled with God. But Jacob is not the only one. Abraham laughed at God (Genesis 17:17), Moses argued with God (Exodus 4:1), David yelled at God (Psalm 88), Peter fought God every step of the way (Matthew 16:22-23), and for Paul it took a miracle for him to see the authority of Christ. (Acts 9:5-9)
Today we often find ourselves in Jacob’s position. We are troubled with worries and anxieties; our future is unsure at best, and we desperately seek God’s blessing and deliverance. When I asked for God to break me, mold me into His image, and lead me, I was blessed beyond belief. Yet, I also have a permanent reminder of the power of God and how He always has control of my life.
So, be cautious in asking God to break you. It WILL HURT, but it could be the greatest think you ever do.