A challenge that is growing daily (if not hourly) amongst us is our ability to be fully present where we are at the moment with others, especially in terms of all the technological distraction that exists today.
Personally, I’m very aware of my own tendencies to attempt the “multi-task” when people are talking or to jump on my iPhone at any given moment, or feel the need to check the many different social networks that are available to me.
What happens is that I fail to be completely present with others, and the fallout is, from my personal perspective, weakened relationships.
Rhett Smith, my very own personal digital counselor (Ok, not “personal” but I love the fact that he blogs about this stuff!) wrote a post the other day about it that knocked me to my knees about this issue, especially this quote from Nouwen:
Nouwen gave several concrete principles on how to care. The most prominent in his writing goes back to the idea of being present.
Nouwen believed that caring means, first of all, to be present with each other, ‘offering one’s own vulnerable self to others as a source of healing.’
One does not need to be useful as much as to be present.
To be present is to listen and to identify with each other as mortal, fragile human beings who need to be heard and sustained by one another, not distracted or entertained. Nouwen’s most powerful expression of this idea is found in Here and Now. (pp. 129-130)
Wow. Dead on.
I’m committing to making this a reality, not just for myself but for others so I can be a source of healing and be much more “useful” to others. And there are simply too many things and people that I don’t want to “miss,” especially my family.
What about you?
Bill Wolfe says
John, I can totally relate to this. Other people I talk with are saying the same things. This concept has impacted me so much that about 3 months ago I embarked on a “social media sabbatical”. I wrote a post about it on my blog. I’m slowly inching my way back, but being mindful about how easy it is for the distractions to pull me away from more important things (like family).
For me, the concept of being fully present went even beyond my relationship with my family. While I could see my family relationship was impacted, my relationship with God was even more impacted. My “sabbatical” has been a journey to re-connect with God and truely dig back into His Word. It’s been awesome!
David (Marketing Integrity) says
Interesting post John. I have been working through the same thinking myself of late. I used it as a topic of a sermon I preached two weeks ago. I titled it “Living in the Moment” (the video is on my blog). One of my points was what you are writing about – we need to be all there. Not wishing away the present. Not being distracted solving a problem at work or as you say distracted by technology. To really enjoy living in the moment – the now – we need to appreciate the people God has put in our lives and give them our full attention!
human3rror says
great, i'm going to check out that vid.!
Rhett Smith says
John,
Thanks for the link….and for opening this conversation up.
I'm struggling with it myself. Though technology was something that came to my mind quickly about things that keep me from being present, there are easily lots of other things.
Worries. TV. Radio. Books. Impatience.
Lots for me to work on….
Looking forward to you coming back to Dallas again sometime and hanging out.
Rhett
human3rror says
word. we'll hang out.
Mary West says
im thankful for this post. I too find myself distracted at times when someone is trying to share personal info. But im aware of it now and that is going to change! In His Love and Care, Mary
human3rror says
🙂 yes, definitely!
Jim says
i find myself thinking about projects i'm working on while i'm driving the kids to soccer practices,etc. i've had to remind myself that i only get one shot with my kids while they are young.
Jeremy Young says
Totally relate,
But I must confess that I absolutely love what I do, I am constantly thinking about how I can use the web in promoting the gospel or how I can help someone who wants to get started with their online ministry.
but Like a couple of the other comments I do need to maintain balance when it comes to time with the wife and kids.
human3rror says
heart it. good stuff.
Mikes says
i agree. a lot of times I can also be out of this world. physically present but mentally absent. thinking about a lot of other things which make us lesser effective.
Peter_P says
I am completely with you. I haven't been totally present for any conversation in some years.
I've not yet worked out how to 'disconnect' and become fully present… but I'm working on it. Slowly.