Have you ever driven yourself crazy trying to get a design just right? Or by trying to figure out what element of your code is causing that one, niggling error? And in that process, in that haze of creative fury have you ever felt yourself slipping over the edge?
I’ve written about this before, not because I’m dealing with mental illness particularly but because I feel like it’s a serious problem in society. So let’s considered this post a slight sequel to that one.
The Thin Line
We constantly add to our workloads, isolate ourselves while deluding ourselves into thinking that social media is “real” enough, and go to almost any length to build our platforms, increase our traffic, or whatever else we think we have to do.
I recently spoke at my church on the topic of “resting in Jesus.” Now, I had a specific angle directed toward our proclivity as Western Christians to try to “force” Christlikeness to sprout in our lives. Now, that’s not what I’m really trying to get at here, but the two are related.
The images here are from a nineteenth century book about the insane. They were drawn by a man who was temporarily committed an insane asylum. Maybe I’m a bit off, but I think these doodles/scratches are beautiful.
When I first saw these images, I just knew I had to write something about them. I just didn’t know what. I thought and thought about it; I even asked others for help. Finally, it came to me.
We were made to create. Just as God is the Creator, we, who were made in His image, have been gifted with the ability to create. Even this poor fellow, sick as he might have been, maltreated and misdiagnosed as he surely was, found within himself the desire and ability to create something. As a spies, we find a great part of identity is tied into creating something.
Of course, this ability has been abused countless times throughout history. We all could think of several instances in which creating can go awry, but I would hazard a guess that most of those instances would actually demonstrate the “creation” itself being evil. What if, in some situations, the “process” by which we create something is what leads us astray.
Creativity, the Hidden Monster
Few things have convinced me to forgo physical (sleep, food, sanitation, etc.) and/or emotional (interaction, direct communication, etc.) needs like the passion and obsession of the creative process. Sometimes, creativity seems to reveal itself to me as a monster, or a cruel taskmaster, that must be placated and obeyed at all cost. The desire to create overwhelms and silences all other voices within me.
It’s exciting when you feel those creative juices flowing and literally watch as an idea comes to life before you. However, that excitement can act like a drug, pulling you deeper and deeper, further and further from those around you. It’s times like these that we have to remember:
We create for a reason.
We create to communicate, to advocate, to challenge, and to entertain. When we lose sight of that, when creativity becomes and end unto itself, we lose our reason. Keep that up long enough, we lose ourselves, like the poor man who drew the images above. Any God-given ability can be abused to the point that it actually takes us further from God and detracts from His glory. Insanity has many causes and many names. I don’t pretend to understand it, but I do understand that any desire or ability that isn’t grounded in increasing the glory of God will ultimately bring us to destruction.
Look at Samson. How many times did he use his strength for his purposes first and foremost? It wasn’t until the end that he rediscovered the reason behind his abilities. I don’t want to go out like that.
Too many great “creators” have lost themselves to their creations, to the monster within. It is vital, now more than ever, that we keep our reasons for creating strong, that we keep ourselves plugged into the real world, and that we find our creative fuel in living life for the glory of God.
Have you been feeding the monster of creativity? Do you need to plug back into the real world to refuel?
Rick says
You’re putting up good stuff here, Phil – I speak as both a creative as well as someone with known mental illness.
Phil Schneider says
Hey, Rick. Thanks for the comment. I’m glad this ministered to you. Some of my family members struggle with mental illness, including myself, so I try to speak to the issue as much as I can. I’m praying for you.
Rick says
Let’s make that mutual, my friend 🙂
Phil Schneider says
🙂