At times, the Church takes flak for being an outdated, ineffective and unresponsive institution. Perhaps the only more maligned establishment in this country is our government.
The government makes the Church look modern and nimble by comparison. This got me thinking:
What would a church look like if it operated more like the government?
- Church members would need to fill out five forms to submit a prayer request
- Senior pastor elections would be held every four years
- Each Bible study would have an appointed lobbyist in the pastor’s office
- Mission teams would form unions and refuse to work
- The weekly worship bulletin would be 36 pages long, with four appendices
- All small group meetings would be broadcast live on C-SPAN
- Members would have to wait in line for two hours to take communion
- Preachers could use their sermons to filibuster
- Worship services would begin with a roll call and couldn’t proceed without a quorum
- The Bible would have to be censored of all questionable material
- Tithing would be a mandatory 21% of your income
- Nursery volunteers would threaten to go on strike without an increase to minimum wage
- Sermon graphics would have to be approved by the FCC
- All facility upgrades would take at least eight years to complete
- Church would be closed on Sundays
OK, so maybe that’s a bit excessive, and certainly satirical. But it’s funny because it’s true. And it should make us glad that we have clear Separation of Church and State.