Today I was asked to call the local authorities because of an apparent blog comment that was made on one of our blogs that was obviously suicidal.
I didn’t exactly enjoy having to do that.
I’ve been mentally processing the comment a few times today in my head and a number of questions and concerns have cropped up, some of which I may share a bit later down the road.
Does you and/or your ministry have an explicit protocol to handle comments that are suicidal in nature? Does your community managers, admins, church staff have an obvious pathway of notifying the parties that need to know and that need to respond?
It’s probably a good idea to have one. It’s probably just as important to let your staff know of the plan and course of action as well.
Have you ever had to manage a blog comment that turned suicidal?
[Picture from AshleyRoseX]
I haven't had to manage a suicidal blog comment… yet. But I have been on the phone with someone who was suicidal. It is not a pleasant experience… without giving away any details… the person I spoke with is involved with my church and called my cell phone. I spent the rest of the afternoon on the other line with one of my pastors and our parish nurse. I was able to talk the person down from it and at one point almost drove myself over to their house… this person is a friend of mine now and is still alive and active in the church. So much life ahead and doing better.
I thank God for this all the time!
I had to respond to a forum comment years back. Young man was posting pictures of a homemade bomb and discussing his plans for it. Called the suicide hotline in his hometown and they said 'It sounds like he is too far gone… not much we can do to help him". When I asked for the local police number, they said they "didn't keep that information on file". Are you kidding me!?!?
It actually turned out better than it could have. It's been a few years but he is working on getting his life on track. Bitter at me for 'ruining his life'. I'm ok with that…
better to have them mad at you for "saving their life" than the alternative.
I haven't had to manage a suicidal blog comment… yet. But I have been on the phone with someone who was suicidal. It is not a pleasant experience… without giving away any details… the person I spoke with is involved with my church and called my cell phone. I spent the rest of the afternoon on the other line with one of my pastors and our parish nurse. I was able to talk the person down from it and at one point almost drove myself over to their house… this person is a friend of mine now and is still alive and active in the church. So much life ahead and doing better.
I was suicidal for a few of my early teen years, which may be why God has led me to "talk down" a good number of folks – even random strangers I've met in alleys, solicitor calls, and emails – but no blog comments. No, those convos are never fun, but potentially rewarding, when you realize you may have just saved a life.
Agreed! The most rewarding part for me is when the person I talked down from it participates in the church and spreads God's word!
Protocol: probably would have said no a few years ago. but after doing therapy, assessing suicide is one of the first things I do a session, depending on the issue they are bringing in (i.e. depression)….often I draft up a suicide contract with the client….and if that is not suffice, I follow other steps….hospitlization, etc.
rhett
Interesting. We flat out warn our members before they sign up that we will rat them out for various confessions, including suicide. Here is how I phrase it in our FAQ:
What happens in Las Vegas may stay in Las Vegas, but what happens on TeensAgainstPorn.com is public and therefore may or may not stay confidential.
This means we will report it if you claim to have molested someone.
This means we will report it if you claim someone has molested you.
This means we will report it if you claim to surf child porn.
This means we will report it if you threaten suicide.
First and foremost… it's just the right thing to do. If someone came to you and told you they were being molested, what would you advise them? "Pray real hard that it will stop."?
No!
"It's different because it's you"?
No again.
peace|dewde
word up. you speak truth brother.
I am part of a team that runs a few sex/porn addiction web forums (http://purecommunity.org), one of which is geared for Teens (http://teensagainstporn.com), and yes we absolutely have a protocol and yes we absolutely have used it.
Our protocol has been to notify the authorities most local to the comenter. Also, when possible notify the parents of the commenter. Using IP Address Locator tools, MySpace/Facebook, and http://www.zabasearch.com/ you can pretty much triangulate in on anyone.
NEVER fun. ALWAYS heart-wrenching.
ALWAYS the right thing to do. Better to have hurt feelings than hurt bodies.
peace|dewde
I am part of a team that runs a few sex/porn addiction web forums (http://purecommunity.org), one of which is geared for Teens (” target=”_blank”>http://teensagainstporn.com), and yes we absolutely have a protocol and yes we absolutely have used it.
Our protocol has been to notify the authorities most local to the commenter. Also, when possible notify the parents of the commenter. Using IP Address Locator tools, MySpace/Facebook, and ” target=”_blank”>http://www.zabasearch.com/ you can pretty much triangulate in on anyone.
NEVER fun. ALWAYS heart-wrenching.
ALWAYS the right thing to do. Better to have hurt feelings than hurt bodies.
peace|dewde
That's heavy. I've had a similar experience with a chat forum recently. You did the best thing, John.
I haven't had to deal with anything quite like this. Atleast not yet anyway. I applaud you John for speaking up about the tougher more challenging issues of, "real life" that all to often we sweep under the carpet.
hmmm, I stand corrected. But we have a list of people that we can refer to in situations where people need counseling. Knowing that we do not have the in-house expertise to deal with situations like this.
But considering this scenario that you speak of John, it would be best to lay out some protocol for dealing with this in the blogs – maybe like what dewde said. Especially since we are just starting out.
Hrm. Maybe we could invent some sort of Creative Commons style version of an online Code of Ethics or Writ of Responsibility. I don't even know what the heck a writ is, I just know it's a document and it sounds all cool and official.
peace|dewde
cool, Creative Responsibility License .
you are a 'writ' sir.
I am part of a team that runs a few sex/porn addiction web forums (higher-calling.com and teensagainstporn.com). We have a protocol. We have used it many times. With MySpace, Facebook, IP address locators, and ZabaSearch.com… you can pretty much triangulate anyone. I've even been able to call parents at home and at work as needed.
NEVER fun.
ALWAYS heart-wrenching.
ALWAYS the right thing to do.
Better to have hurt feelings than hurt bodies.
peace|dewde
I was thinking about the IP thing. WP tracks it.
Never encountered it online. But I have in real life. I pray I NEVER encounter another one of those situations again. But if I do, I will do everything necessary to prevent the situation in the future. I'm not close enough to this particular person to assess their mental health, but they're still alive…
Never in a blog comment, but twice in person or phone call – wasn't a fun situation.
only a matter of time then…
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