This USA TODAY article, which was passed to me this morning by a good friend, hit me right in the face as I sat there trying to read email, tweet, update my blogs, and check my voicemail all at the same time.
The article states:
Restaurant meals, family outings and holiday gatherings — not to mention movie dates, birthday parties and even baby showers — used to be about enjoying the moment of, say, a shared joke, a knowing glance or a sip of cold beer over a sunset.
Now, thanks to technology, those moments are multi-tasked to the minute, to the point where even the digitally addicted admit they’re so burrowed into their virtual lives they sometimes miss out on the real thing.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while and how challenging it is to be 100% present wherever I am. To be quite honest, it’s been really tough. It can “hurt” too, as one person mentioned:
“We’re so entrenched in what we’re doing” — in the palm of our hand or in the canal of our ear — “that we’re not paying attention to the outside world,” says Ray Soto, 30, who has run into walls because his head is bowed into his iPhone.
One of the most obvious signs was when I started taking my daughter out Saturday mornings for our “Daddy-Daughter Day Breakfast” at the local Einstein’s Bagel Shop. I’d sit there and update my status, check email, and the like as my daughter would casually eat her bagel.
It suddenly struck me that I was completely missing the point and I put my iPhone away and just watched her eat. I haven’t missed a bite since.
It’s a serious issue and one that I’m working on. The question is whether or not it’s really possible without completely ditching the technology. What do you think?
[Image from Saxon]
Isn't it about 'who you want to exist for' ?
If you devote your time to prove to us – as your readers – that you exist, it will surely come at the expense of someone else.
In all honesty, when you wrote that you were checking your email on your daddy-daughter dates, my eyebrows were furrowed in concern, until you said you'd realized the fault and simply watched her – which brought a smile.
I would much rather you proved to us that you 'existed to your family' !!
yeah, i agree…family first and @roenne will only be small once.
ah, but to do that, i would have to tweet or blog, right?
Yes.
… just do it AFTER the family occasion!
yeah, i agree…family first and @roenne (and @mrsbear )will only be young once.
I hate reading things that convict me – but seriously this made me reflect and think about how I spend time with my family. Some days I work from home, which makes it tough because everyone wants my attention. But I still have to learn that when I am present in body, I need to be there mentally as well. Thanks John for sharing.
hahaha! hate conviction. love it.
i've changed a lot of stuff to go offline with the fam. and i take breaks throughout the day to eat 3 meals/day with them…the benefit of working out of the home. and in the evenings there are soccer practices to drive to,etc…so the virtual thing doesn't always work for me. In fact it sucks sometimes. There's times where i'd like to back-off but can't at the moment. I have a lot of conversations with Sharon about this and have decided that FB doesn't work that well, Blogging,Twitter,Commenting,Google Reader are key.
I noticed a while ago my tendency to text people while I was with other people. I realized that this was completely backwards, and I started working toward being focused on the present situation. So I'm with you.
What is sad is that me, my daughter and my wife can be in a room and all on our mobile devices and like it said, "miss out on the real thing".
Conviction is a good thing, guilt is bad. I'm always ready (that's probably not true) to feel convicted if I need to change. That is the work of the Spirit. Feeling guilt is from someone else altogether! I will say that this is an area I could work on. Keep post like this coming!
It's a matter of balance. It can happen. It takes discipline. But it's interesting that you wrote this. Today I wrote something regarding what I've learned over the course of my life. Check it here and look at number 1:
http://justlivingthelife.com/2009/08/03/so-what-h...
I couldn't agree more with the article. Whether you're drinking coffee or at a ballgame, you see alot of people on their phones, and I often think what we are missing. I was just talking to someone the other day, about txting, email, etc. and the effects of technology. I love technology as much as the next person, but good face-to-face conversations are very important for society.
Well, thanks for convicting me…I mean for reminding me of something I need to be intentional about all the time. Great words!
word up. thanks dude!
I think it's completely doable. Social Media has it's place and I am fully engaged in it. It's about appropriateness of the moment. I've never seen a Tweet of someone at a funeral … not of any people I follow … Why? Inappropriate. For what it's worth …
I think it's completely doable. Social Media has it's place and I am fully engaged in it. It's about appropriateness of the moment. I've never seen a Tweet of someone at a funeral … not of any people I follow … Why? Inappropriate. For what it's worth …
I have decided that I do not want to be remembered as the Dad that always talked (or Tweeted) about what we did rather than the one who was present in the doing! I am not the Tweet Nazi and there are some times when a Tweet will be a great way to remember the moment … there are always exceptions.
I am modeling what it's like to be a Dad for my two boys. Far from perfect … I've found that if I take the time to listen to them (actively listen) … they talk to me. They listen too. To me, that's more important than letting others know anything about my life. I should be sharing my life with those closest to me. They are the ones truly following me.
this is great stuff. thanks for that reminder!