How can parents possibly protect their teens online when the threats multiply faster than the parents can build protective boundaries? As technology advances, teens have more and more ways available to them to end up in danger with technology. Parents are often unable to adapt to new technology as fast as their kids are. As a result, parents are often unable to fully protect their teens online or on whatever device teens use to get online. New technology comes out, and so does new vocabulary for “new” mischief. Parents might hear these words and not know what they mean. This might feel like a hopeless battle, but it is assuredly not.
The Battle Line (Teens Aren’t the Enemy)
Ways of accessing pornography are often centers of concern for Christian parents. That is a good thing, but unfortunately while guarding against the big devil in front of us, we will often miss the little devil sneaking behind us. The battle line should not be drawn on whether or not your son is looking at porn, because he probably is. Nor should it be drawn on whether or not your daughter is sending risqué pictures of herself to boys, because she probably is. Pornography is a pestilence assaulting God’s design for sexuality. However, it is not the only threat to your children. I believe that if the battle lines are drawn on the issue of pornography, then parents have stepped into the foray too late. Instead, the battle line should be drawn much sooner, in a place where you can help mold attitudes and intentions.
The war is not fought for your child’s behavior. The war is fought is for your child’s heart. When you fight as if the war is for your child’s behavior, you will also spend more time fighting your child than the actual enemy. That said, one of the major fronts in this war is fought by having appropriate safeguards around behavior, and specifically around behavior with technology. In this series of posts, my goal is to equip parents with the knowledge of the enemy’s tactics, technical weaponry to fight the enemy with, the emotional med-pack to heal and fight for your teens with. I will provide a how-to guide for selecting which technology tools to protect your family, and to keep up with current technology. I will also offer some suggestions for initiating teachable moments where you can teach discernment to your teen, and your teen can teach technology to you.
In the best-case scenario, you are reading this before you have given your teen a smartphone, iPod, laptop, or some other similar device. Unfortunately, it is more likely the case that you will need to re-boot your teen’s tech use with a new set of rules. That will come with a different set of challenges. I’ll address those towards the end of the series. If you are entering this battle on the offense, you are late, but it is still win-able. The first part of this series is to help parents in getting good “intelligence” and setting up good defensive perimeters.
Teen-Tech Intelligence – Know Before Your Teens Do
What new apps are there that might be problematic? Not just apps on the music players, phones, and tablets. These might include apps that are like little additions to Facebook or some other mostly okay site. The three most helpful places (in my opinion) for getting this information are Walt Mueller’s “Center for Parent and Youth Understanding” and “Digital Kids Initiative,” as well as Focus on the Family’s “Plugged in Online.” The people who run these efforts have made it their mission to monitor the intersection of popular culture and technology. Subscribing to their email newsletters or blogs will help you to be informed when new apps or websites popular with teenagers become potentially dangerous. If you’re already on Facebook, you should also find the Facebook pages of each of these organizations and “like” them so that you will see their updates in your news feed (which is often faster than email).
[Image via Andrew W. Rennie]
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