‘Tis the season for making New Year Resolutions. Or new year goals. Or a combination of both.
However, for many, a month from now will be another season. The season of failed resolutions, of giving up on lofty goals, or inspiring dreams.
Making resolutions and setting goals is easy. Realizing them is a lot harder.
That’s also because many of us forget about the crucial key to successful New Year’s resolutions and to executing our goals. I did too, for many years. Until I read a book and a light bulb went on.
Habits.
It’s all about habits.
The reason many plans fail is because they rely on our will power, on sheer discipline. That may work for a few weeks, if that, but it won’t be enough to keep going when the going gets tough.
What you need are habits; habits that sustain and support the behavior that will lead to you realizing your goals. I never realized this deep truth until I read Charles Duhigg’s book The Power of Habit. It opened my eyes to how much of our behavior is dictated by habits, but also how ingrained habits are.
The Habit Loop
Duhigg describes the habit loop: a mostly unconscious process where a cue triggers a certain habit (a routine) which results in a reward, thus reinforcing the original cue and routine. An example: for me, watching TV and snacking are synonym. The ‘cue’ of sitting down to watch a series, triggers my desire to want something to munch on and so I walk to the kitchen to grab a snack. I’m rewarded by a release of dopamine because of the pleasure of relaxing, eating, and watching TV.
Understanding these three elements is crucial when we want to change our patterns. Let’s say you want to lose weight—not an unusual goal for the new year of course. You could simply start on a diet, or decide to stop eating foods that are high in sugar or fat. But that relies on discipline. If you’ve had a crappy day, chances are big you’ll fall right back into the old comforting routines.
That’s because these habit loops are triggered mostly in our subconscious. Usually, were not even aware of them—we just note the end result. And by the way, that end result matters. Our habits are so strong because they have some kind of reward, albeit a physical one or an emotional one (triggered by release of certain hormones). If our habits didn’t bring us anything, we wouldn’t keep them.
New goals require new habits therefore and changing habits is hard. What helps is to make your old, unhealthy habits as conscious as possible. What habits are preventing you from reaching your goals for instance? What triggers these behaviors? What reward do you get from that particular habit loop?
Next comes the crucial part: what new, healthy habits do you need to help you realize your goals? How could you trigger these habits and how could you reward yourself?
That last part is the most important step: new habits only form if they are reinforced by some kind of reward. It may be a simple conscious ‘proud of myself’ moment, or you may choose to reward yourself in a more concrete way (“For every book I finish, I treat myself to a glass of wine.”)
For Example
Let’s get back to our example of wanting to lose weight. You’ve discovered that your biggest issue is that you start snacking when you come home from work. You’re usually tired, you’re a bit cranky, you’re hungry and you want some food and you want it fast. That’s how you end up with that bag of chips in your hand, or half a pack of cookies in your stomach.
Instead, you could create a trigger to snack on healthy food. Before you leave home in the mornings, you set out some nuts for instance, or an apple. Seeing the healthy alternative when you return home will trigger the new, healthy snacking routine.
Now, what would work as a reward depends on your personality. For some, the ‘knowing’ they ate healthy will be enough rewards. For others, logging their eating habits in an app like MyFitnessPal could be rewarding, since they could see the difference in calories between healthy and unhealthy snacking. Others need a more concrete reward…I’ve even heard of people who gave themselves a sticker!
As long as the reward is strong enough (meaning stronger than the reward for our old, unhealthy behavior), we can and will override the bad habits. However, remember that old habits die hard. In times of stress for instance, you’ll find yourself falling back on familiar routines. It really takes time to create new neural pathways for new habits!
Ever since I’ve seen the light where it comes to habits, I’ve changed the way I execute plans and goals. I focus completely on habits that will get me there. It’s make a big difference already! But I’ll share more about that tomorrow.
What are some of your most unhealthy habits?
Can you identify the cue/trigger?
What reward do they bring you?
How could you replace these with healthy, constructive habits?
[Running image via Lightstock & the habit loop image via CharlesDuhigg.com]
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