We are in an Age of Social Media that we dove into head-first.
Without even taking a second thought, we leaped into this tech pool and it’s made quite a splash.
It’s difficult to give it a second thought. All of this is undiscovered, inexperienced territory. To add to complication, facts are mixed with rumors as Facebook is said to increase divorce as past flames are re-lit.
Some say it’s safe, others say it isn’t.
Is social media dangerous?
Has it blurred the lines between private and public interaction?
The State of Missouri recently outlawed teacher-student Facebook friendships, stating this in the legislation:
Teachers cannot establish, maintain, or use a work-related website unless it is available to school administrators and the child’s legal custodian, physical custodian, or legal guardian. Teachers also cannot have a nonwork-related website that allows exclusive access with a current or former student.
The Ontario College of Teachers issued this advisory:
- Avoid exchanging private texts, phone numbers, personal e-mail addresses or photos of a personal nature with students.
- Decline student-initiated “friend” requests and do not issue “friend” requests to students.
If the general populous sees a danger with social media relationships, shouldn’t the Church take inventory?
Like a teacher, a Pastor is placed into a position of authority.
Should the same rules that are being applied to these teachers be honored by Pastors?
What rules should Pastors adhere to as they live above reproach?
[Image via Baltimore Brown]
I am friends with my pastor on Facebook so obviously I feel that it is okay. I agree with the “teacher rule” due to the age restrictions of a minor vs. an adult and so forth. However, I consult on many creative projects for our church with social media being my niche. I think that this is a VERY toxic situation for pastors. I am in a church of about 300. I have seen (in the past few months) people getting furious because the pastor did not see what they tweeted or posted on Facebook and ask them about it or console them about their “tragedy” or so called tragedy. Even some to the fact, that they LEAVE THE CHURCH! Many people find their selves on social media just for attention. I, once, had a family member say to me: “I sent Pastor X a Facebook message and he never responded. He is kind of stuck up, huh?” This reminds me of the toxicity of the matter. Pastors are called to lead us not to follow us on Twitter & Facebook keeping up with ever minute detail of our lives.
I wrote about this specific area for Pastors on my blog:
http://www.bradhensley.com/random/pastors-dont-do-a-lot/
Thanks for the link, Brad.
About an hour later, I pulled-up my Facebook to find similar musings regarding my Pastor on Facebook. You are spot on.
In my opinion, I think its nuts! People are crazy to think that any Pastor has the time to go through all the MySpace (do people use this still?), Facebook, Twitter, & Google+ feeds to make sure everything is “hunky-dory” in all the members lives… maybe we should launch a new position in church called social media pastor and he can be required to do that… not the “lead pastor”
Some churches do have a “family care pastor.” Social media would be a great opportunity for someone in that role.
True. For those Churches large enough.
Social Media Pastor …. I love it.
You’re absolutely right, Brad.
Agree that students are not the same as adults that happen to be church members. (Equating the two seems a bit odd frankly.) My wife is a teacher and I know several of her teacher friends have different views on being facebook friends with kids. Most do not, but then most of them are elementary teachers and too young for the kids to have their own facebook account (and meet terms of service) anyway.
But I do see some dangers, particularly when there is a large church and not direct friendship. But that is part of the dangers of the modern social media friendly world. I work hard to make sure I see all of the posts of the people in my small group and my pastor and some other church staff. But that is because I want to keep them in prayer and know what is going on. I care about them. But I have also learned that facebook/twitter is not a sufficient way to communicate something important to a group of people.
The similarity between the two is this:
Teacher/Student and Pastor/Member has an element and dynamic of authority.
I question the dynamic of authority between pastor and member, in that it’s a voluntary thing (members can leave), and ministry seems fundamentally more about serving than being in authority over somebody. This may be my Aussie paradigm, but our pastors aren’t authorities so much as respected teachers who lead by example. I think social media is a platform for teaching and leading by example, so I’d suggest, at that point, there’s probably a case to be made for being friends with your pastor/pastors being friends with their congregations.
The Missouri law sounds very reactionary and overreaching to me. Banning teachers from connecting with current OR FORMER students? Does this mean an adult college student can’t be Facebook friends with a former high school teacher?
While I’m not involved in student ministry, I can’t imagine what youth pastors would do today if they couldn’t Facebook or text the students in their ministry.
My understanding of the law is that it only applies to minors, so adult college students would be exempted. But I could be wrong. I only quickly read an article about it.
I think that this article would be a better debate if it talked directly about student pastors vs. teachers. That would be interesting. However, I still think that you can’t reach kids if you don’t use the technology that they are using… it’s not going to happen.
Good points, Paul. I thought the FORMER student thing was a bit puzzling, too.
Why would you NOT be friends with your pastor (provided he’s actually on Facebook, mine is not)? Your pastor is not simply a teacher (and even at that, he’s a very different sort of teacher than exists within the public education system), he is a shepherd placed within the church to oversee and encourage the church. He can’t do that if he’s avoiding contact with the flock, with the rest of the body of Christ.
Obviously, some pastors choose to avoid Facebook, and instead focus on maintaining face-to-face relationships instead. My pastor chooses this route, and it works for him and our small congregation. Other pastors, however, choose to take advantage of the networking opportunities presented by Facebook, and if they choose to make themselves available online in such a manner, they should also be ready and willing to be available to their own congregation online.
I think the answer for Pastors may be this:
Establish a policy, make the policy public, and follow it.
What do you think?
“Establish a policy, make the policy public, and follow it.”
What a great point! I completely agree with this statement. Even if the policy is vague like, “I use Facebook primarily for personal reasons. blah, blah, blah, If there is a dire need in your life please contact pastor@church.com for assistance.”
This is such a great point. My company has a social media policy and I think that it would be a great point to create this for churches as well. It would assist in helping the pastors as well as the staff guys.
My company’s social media policy: http://www.carsetc.com/social-media-policy.htm
Thank you, Brad.
Maybe we should put one together that Churches could easily add and modify?
The Church can’t ignore social media. It’s too powerful of a force for temptation to leave it alone. I’ve heard from kids within youth ministry’s that once their small group leaders friended them, they became conscious of what they did on Facebook and what they posted because they didn’t want some people to see it. This leads to other decisions such as not drinking or getting high at the party because they don’t want someone posting “duuuude!!!11 you got sooooo wasted on friday night it was epic!!!!!!!” on their wall.
Just from some of the other comments here it sounds like Facebook and other social sites could use a feature similar to Outlook’s Delegation.
For example, if “John Doe” is in group “Random Peeps” then also send any private messages to those in the group “Delegates” so they can respond on behalf of the pastor. The person on the receiving end would get the response as if it were from the pastor him, or her, self. Anyone else in the delegates group and the Pastor would then get a response saying this Delegate responded on behalf of Pastor.
Good points.
I don’t like the Delegate’s idea, but you are spot-on: “The Church can’t ignore social media.”
In fact, it can’t ignore ANY media.
I agree with Eric, here on both points. You can’t ignore social media (I have consulted with some pastors that think it’s “stupid”) but I don’t like the delegates idea either. “Church Folk” will be mislead to think the Pastor is in the know about the situation that they are dealing with and in fact he may not have any idea.
I’m friends with my pastors on my Facebook profile – I don’t have anything to “hide”. What’s quite cool is that they are always asking me stuff about Facebook (how to do this or that).
If you don’t want something to stay on the internet forever, then don’t post it!
At our company / ministry we have adopted a SOCIAL MEDIA POLICY ( a must-have for all organizations – in my opinion). Basically you are representing your ministry / company, you cannot go post things like “I got wasted this weekend” on your profile if you are an employee at our ministry or one of our companies. There should be some sort of social-responsibility on the internet? Or is this too much to ask?
Def. agree with the policy concept! I don’t think that members of a church should be obligated to the policy but I do think that staff or strong leadership should adhere to the policy.
Yes Brad, we only apply this policy to our staff that are working full time in the ministry, not the partners / congregation. I wouldn’t think it would be necessary hence the statement about having SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY.
Can you send us a copy of the policy?
eric [at] churchm.ag
If you need a SOCIAL MEDIA POLICY TOOL (FREE) – you can use this one, I’ve used it for our company.
http://socialmedia.policytool.net/
Thanks! Got it!
> Having interactions with church students by a pastor or youth pastor should be limited to public forums like a fan page as apposed to a personal Facebook page. Fan pages can be set up with multiple “admins” adding to accountability.
We wrote a policy for churches and can be seen here: http://getyourchurchfanpage.com/fm/tutorials/module-3/m3-l1-setting-your-church-social-media-policies-facebook Feel free to use if you like it.
Thanks!
I have to agree with this…especially since I have experienced something very opposite of what some are experiencing with Pastors on Facebook (like being expected to keep up with members online by members, and those members getting upset when they find out the Pastor doesn’t). I actually have experienced (personally) where the Pastor and church leadership kept up with members of their church on Facebook, and when a member unfriends the pastor or any of the church leadership (simply due to not having any interaction with hardly anyone on there) they actually take it as a “hostile act” to the relationship.
I never experienced such a methodology to relationships before, and I from my experience, I do find it’s *potentially* toxic to the local bodies where the pastor “friends” their church membership. Not all cases is it toxic…because many pastors use the social media platforms as a means to simply share information with others (and there is an understood, set standard that they are accessible beyond the social media walls)…but in cases where pastors aren’t setting a standard, and/or utilizing the social media platform as a means to “covertly” keep up with their membership (avoiding, most times phone calls, emails, etc with members), this is very toxic to the local body (without a doubt). You’re messing with people’s emotions…and this is toxic to relationships; which is what pastors and leadership really need to be focusing on in their ministries (relationships with others).
Great insights, Marni, love hearing from others personal experiences.
My pastor has over 400 friends on facebook but when I asked to be friends he ignored me in spite of the fact that he his friends with others in the church.
But I noticed there is some who has recently left the church that was not his friends so imo he must have ignored them too.
Hmmmm …
I was stunned too.
So I guess a pastor has his pets too just like teachers do.
No offense to pastors and teachers who treat everyone the same.