This article has been passing hands and, of course, I had to mention something about it.
A Pastor in New Jersey has dropped the hammer and mentioned that to his staff and congregation to “seriously” consider taking it all offline:
A New Jersey pastor is telling his married church leaders to delete Facebook or resign.The Rev. Cedric Miller says much of his recent marital counseling has included infidelity stemming from the social-network website.
The leader of Living Word Christian Fellowship Church in Neptune says Facebook is reigniting old passions.
Pwn.
Thoughts? Let’s hear it in the comments.
[via MSNBC]
Daniel says
Sounds to me like these people committing infidelity already had issues. Sure, Facebook may have made it easy for them, but the root of sin was already there. To place that blame on Facebook is like blaming the gun rather than the person who fired it.
Michael Novotny says
That’s where I was going to go with this too, Daniel…
Sure, Facebook could have helped aid the process, but it’s not the root cause. If the marriage was solid in the first place, it wouldn’t happen…period.
I think the pastor dude is taking it a bit far… I would say that individuals need to know their personal boundaries. If you’re a recovering alcoholic, you probably shouldn’t be hanging out in bars. The same common sense should apply on Facebook… If you see an old flame or an ex on Facebook, maybe you should think twice before friending them. Don’t open that door if there’s no reason to…
Phill Tran says
Agreed.
facebook is the means not the cause.
It would only be a matter of time before the sin manifested itself through another outlet.
Leanne says
While I hear his pastor’s heart and concern for the people, I think that when the leader starts to make personal decisions for the people, it’s a red flag. That’s how cults get their start.
The leader can warn the people about the possible dangers of Facebook, but to make it mandatory to delete their account is controlling, to say the least. Let people make their own decisions, right or wrong. It’s not your responsibility to make the choice for them.
Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend cover this topic in their bestselling book Boundaries.
JayCaruso says
I agree with Daniel. Does this Pastor really believe getting people to shut down their Facebook accounts is going to cure the sin of adultery?
Granted, if using Facebook is a catalyst in their behavior, then certainly at a personal level that person should close down his account merely to avoid the temptation.
But if somebody’s marriage is at a point where infidelity works its way into the relationship, the absence of a Facebook account is not going to resolve the issue.
Lou says
I think this is absolutely absurd – legalism at its worst. People sin out of the depravity of their hearts, which only Christ can remedy by a heart change. A pastor cannot stop people from sinning, he can only preach the Gospel faithfully so that the Word of truth can combat sin. While I do believe in church discipline because it is called for by Scripture (Matthew 18:15-20), this certainly doesn’t follow the Biblical model.
Stephen Bateman says
Not to bait the issue or anything, but are internet filters in church offices good*? I think that “filtering” facebook is a little extreme, but if he sees it as an emotional guard for his people, I appreciate his proactivity.
*If that sounds like a stretch, Facebook is ‘tech’ just like the internet, but there is no way to filter the ’emotionally negative’ stuff like you can with a porn filter on the internet.
Graham Brenna says
True True. Filters in church offices is a whole-nother question. I basically said the same thing you said before reading your comment. There’s no way to filter the ’emotionally negative’ stuff in someones head. That needs to be dealt with in a completely different way than any filter could handle.
Jared Hardwick says
The Bible does say to “cut off the hand that makes you stumble.” So if that is the case, then I think it’s fair.
Scott Cheatham says
If I were under his authority I would resign and find another place to serve. Facebook has opened a number of doors for me to minister to old friends who now know that I pastor a church. Just this week, I was asked about some spiritual matters from an old high school friend. Those who’ve drawn the correlation between the gun and the shooter are correct. Nothing more needs to be said.
As to the pastor, he has the right to make this request of his staff and to follow up as he has told them he will. I do not agree with his decision but he is in the position to make those requests. If the church supports him, then those who disagree (as I would) need to leave.
Jeff Hamrick says
I concur with the comments that have been made. Even though this pastor has the authority to make this request, I question whether it is the kind of request he should be making. People’s bent to sin is inherent in themselves; Facebook just happens to be the means by which they’re expressing it.
It seems to me that a pastor’s job is to lead his people through these kinds of issues. Teaching and preaching on fidelity, workshops to train parents, single adults, teens, etc. about biblical principles surrounding moral purity, etc seem to be in order here.
Also, kudos to all the commenters so far who have politely disagreed and have maintained a respectful, civil, and positive tone. That’s rare here on the interwebs…but much appreciated!
BenJPickett says
I agree with everyone here.
But just to play devil’s advocate let’s look at this from the other point of view. In the quote, and it’s possible that the media re-worded it to make us Christians sound like crazy peoples, the pastor is pointing at Facebook.
I’ll argue that the pastor is seeing Facebook as the road of choice to open past doors that maybe weren’t seen as a good option at the time. It’s not that they couldn’t go out and cheat without Facebook, it’s the fact that these people are choosing to do this with other people that they have friended. He says “Facebook is reigniting old passions”. Say they aren’t going out to a bar, they are finding people that they used to know very well. People that they may have married if their circumstances were a little different; the problem then becomes when hanging out with honest intentions of catching up the chemistry starts to re-brew.
My brother-in-law ended up in a similar situation, while going through a divorce with his wife an old girlfriend found him on Facebook. While neither one of them was anywhere near as attractive as they were 20 years ago, they are now mature enough to deal with their differences and are giving that old relationship another chance. Now their situation is different since they were both divorced or in that process when well before their paths crossed again but it’s the same emotions and thoughts that are resurfacing.
While we can’t deny that the sin is there, we are all human and susceptible to giving in to sin. So to blaming the loaded gun instead of the shooter, would the shooter have ever pulled the trigger if he didn’t have a loaded gun?
Graham Brenna says
I know I’m late to the comment game with this one… but here’s my two cents.
The people that area cheating on their spouses probably already had issues… Facebook is just the vehicle, not the problem. If not Facebook it would be something else. The actual core issue that this pastor needs to deal with is the emotional well-being of his employees and worry less about the distractions in their lives.
Mandating that they delete their facebook accounts is just cutting masking a bigger issue without actually diving in and fixing the issue where it lies.
Matt Ralph says
It sounds to me like the pastor might be in a round about way attempting to confess his own struggles with Facebook. Might this be a cry for help?
Isn’t the tendency often to speak loudest and point the thickest finger at the things we most struggle with ourselves?
Joe Chavez says
Thing is, I just made the decision this morning to take an indefinite hiatus from FB. I guess you could say it’s partly due to finally growing tired of my wife’s not-so-subtle comments and newstories about–for example–this such and such pastor who was having an affair via FB, blah blah blah, ad nauseum.
Perhaps I DO have an issue with looking at my iPhone a little too much when I get home from my tent-making trade and I am unconsciously “tuning out” the family. But I also do the social media (FB and Twitter) for my church! That, too, I’m considering handing off to someone else now.
Sometimes I see the potential damage of FB and wonder what the real value is. This is why I’m on hiatus. We’ll see what comes out the other side of this.
Jennifer says
The thing is Facebook can be an amazing ministry tool. It’s sad to see a Pastor cut it off because it could be used for sin. Lots of sin can happen in cars (anger, sex, etc) but you don’t see him saying get rid of that. If someone is finding temptation on FB then they should definitely get off the site all together but don’t limit your staff from a possible ministry tool because of some other peoples problems. I have been able to minister and do outreach through FB. I’ve even have had someone who attended our church only twice find me on facebook and I’ve been able to continue to minister to them (they are not able to attend church regularly). FB provided a way for them to contact me where they felt most comfortable. Our Pastor just holds us accountable for our actions on Facebook and any other social media.
I dislike when Christians go overboard and end up excluding themselves from the world. How can we evangelize if we live in our own bubble?